More Things I'll Never Get Used To

1. Letters are pronounced differently here. I understand this concept when it is another language we’re talking about but the Irish speak English, so I was caught unaware on this one. The letter H is pronounced Hay-ch, the letter R is Oar and Z is zed, which is all fine and well until one of your software packages is called RGC.
2. Babies in strollers crossing their legs. Proper legs crossed at tea crossing of the legs. I’ve seen it quite a few times and I always think ‘how wrongly sophisticated’. And for that matter, 10 year old children pushing babies in strollers disturbs me. I realize they’re probably just babysitting, I tell myself that anyway, but 10 is just too young to be in charge. Then again, I panic when I see a teenage girl pushing one too, so apparently, I’m just disturbed to see anyone under the age of 30 pushing a baby carriage.
3. I’m acutely aware of the weather now and I wonder what used to preoccupy my mind. I marvel at the weather when it is in any hospitable. Mostly because a day here can vary from snowing to sunglasses to rain in the span of a couple of hours, so a nice day tends to be marked by the prevailing weather while walking to and from lunch, to and from the house, or while on site trying to draw on soggy paper that you cannot see thru your fogged-over glasses. Trembling hands tend to make it difficult to read dimensions and notes later. ‘From the door to the stair it’s 12. Twelve what, meters or inches? How the hell should I know, it looks like IS to me!’
4. Trousers = pants. Pants = underwear. Must be very careful who you say ‘I loved those pants you wore last night’ to when in a crowded room.
5. I know it’s written on the pavement, but I’m fighting decades of looking left not right when I step off a sidewalk. It’s just unnatural, dammit. Can’t you just drive on the right as God intended?
6. I can confidently order chips when I want them but ‘crisps’ is just never going to happen.
7. ‘Ah, you’re a Yank’. What is this, war time Dixie? Where’s my hoop skirt? Does that make you a Reb? I’m an American, thank you. I don’t call you a Mick or a leprachaun... and while we’re on the subject, why is it when I’m an American living here, meh... but when I’m an American visiting here, Wow!?
8. Does my bagel come with onions on it? How about my pizza? My ham and cheese sandwich? My toast and nutella? My water? Raw onions should not be used as a garnish. Parsley should. Or colourful splashes of paprika and saffron but never onions. That’s just mean.
9. Last night on TV I watched Friends, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, The Ghost Whisperer (yes, I know), and Sex and the City. Um, what country am I in again? I suppose I could watch Fair City and the Irish channel, but last night they were featuring a documentary on why Leitrim farmers are the best in Ireland at cutting bog. I think there was even a contest involved.
10. In most of Ireland, Irish is considered a dead language. It's just not in every day use for close to 85% of the country. But they have a habit of making up Irish words for things that never existed when the language was in existance, like taxi. It used to drive Tax Boy crazy. So the other day when I drove by Bertie Ahern's office, I noticed this carved delicately in white stone: Department of the Taoiseach / Roinn an Taosigh Taoiseach is Irish for Chieftian and is used for the political ruler of Ireland. But, if Taoiseach is already an Irish word, why does it have a different spelling in Irish?