Things I Had Forgotten

I have forgotten how to be an American. Or rather, what it is like to be one. My first two weeks in New York has been marked by things I have forgotten, the odd things I have come to accept while living in another country, and many, many stupid questions. The most common comment out of me these days is 'I forgot about that' followed by 'I forgot we do it this way' I am a very different woman then when I left the US, in ways I could never have expected.


1- I am gaining a tremendous amount of weight. In my first week here I have eaten more than all of the last month in Dublin. The portions are huge and I had forgotten that I need to exercise discipline in not eating the entire plate. Because one plate in New York would most judiciously feed 2 ½ people; I have no need to clean my plate unless I want to be as big as 2 ½ people. And available variety is astounding. So far, I’ve had Spanish, Cuban, Mexican, Asian fusion, southern BBQ, American comfort, Italian, French, and enough pastries to give me adult onset diabetes.

2- Iced tea! I had completely forgotten about the existence of iced tea. I love iced tea, especially in the summer. I order it with every lunch, every brunch, and quite often, dinner. It is my beverage of choice and it just simply does not exist in Europe. I drink a lot more water in Europe than I do in the US. Which is probably good for me since water does not have caffeine.

3- Americans are obsessed with coffee. They trade coffee places like baseball cards. ‘Oh not here, I don’t like their roast’ is not an uncommon comment. Finding the best coffee available on the way to work is the back-up national past time of New Yorkers. And I love my coffee but what I cannot stand is the amount of packaging involved in picking up a cup of coffee. The cardboard cup (or that melty Styrofoam type I hate), the plastic lid, a cardboard sleeve, plastic spoon/stirrer, packet of sugar, packet of alternate sugar, packet of creamer, 3 napkins, and a paper bag to put it all in for the walk to work. I realize a lot of people need foreign things like milk in their coffee but really? Can’t I just doctor it all up on the way out the door? Must I leave the shop with a week’s recycling in hand?

4- And on that note, every cold beverage is served with a straw. I’d forgotten that. A plastic straw sticking out of anything liquid and containing ice. I’ve missed ice greatly, but the thing is I’ve never been a straw girl; I prefer to drink out of the glass itself, mostly because I do not wear lipstick. But now all I can see are landfills of plastic straws.

5- I was at a birthday party the other night and met a friend of my friend, as you tend to do at social occasions. We decided to get together for brunch a few days later, and so she handed me her card so I could call her. What followed was a blizzard of general card exchanging at the table. I think I was the only one that didn’t have one. Everyone in New York, it seems, has a business +/or personal card. Every restaurant has one by the front door, every shop has one, hell, the hot dog vendor has one. Every man, woman and child in the city has one. Except me and I need one quite desperately. I cannot remember where I live if asked and we all know how great I am with phone numbers.

6- People are so busy here that I wonder that anything ever gets done. ‘I’m too busy this week for that’ is the tag-line of many a New Yorker. Everyone is rushing around telling everyone else how busy they are. And they are, really. I’ve been out and about socializing more than I do in Dublin. As Kevin said: there is no hanging at the house in New York; the city is our living room.

7- How’d you sleep? = How are you?

8- I am shocked when staff is nice to me. I was in a pub having lunch the other day and I asked if the salad had onions on it what followed was a discourse on my onion allergy between the waitress and I, and then the cook came out to ask if I should be having the salsa because it too, had onions in it. After I assured him it was fine, he then proceeded to finish making my lunch for me. And that happened at another place last night too. Americans are better at customer service than any place on earth. Pay for something at a department store and the clerk will most likely smile and thank you for shopping there. Enter into any conversation with her and you can get a discount card and a recommendation on the best place nearby for drinks. Please, thank you, sir/ma’am, it’s all so very polite and all so very unexpected for me. I’ve missed people being nice to me as I give them my money.

9- Flip-flops as every day wear. In the rest of the world, a flip flop is relegated to poolside footwear and showering at the gym. In the US, they are a legitimate choice of foot wear, for any occasion apparently. I’ve seen special occasion flip flops, every day flip flops, designer flip flops that retail for more than my last handbag. Who knew cheap beach wear would be so versatile?

10- I had forgotten how many companies deliver glossy sales magazines in an effort to market/raise the greed level. In our little apartment, I’ve stumbled across magazines from Red Envelop, Crate + Barrel, Pottery Barn, Williams Sonoma (which I don’t really mind so much), Ikea and The New Yorker, which I recognize as a subscription magazine but it still comes weekly and promotes New York to New Yorkers. I do remember that once on the mailing list, these catalogs come at least monthly, in a new format, showing the latest sales until you either buy something or die underneath the avalanche of gloss. I never minded the Williams Sonoma ones because they came with recipies and I used to cook a lot, so that was quite a welcome way to convince me I needed pastel colored individual sized ramekins for my next dinner party. Which I used to own, come to think of it. I guess that type of marketing really does work.

11- In my own personal habits, I have noticed that I am horrified by the lack of recycling, appalled by the waste created with excess food being served and shocked when people insist on putting my purchases in a plastic bag after I already showed them my canvas shopping bag. I am also the woman who turns out lights, shuts off appliances, and yet lets her computer run for 4 straight days trying desperately to defragment the sucker. I look the wrong way when crossing the street, on two continents now. I continually shut doors behind me instead of leaving them open in the apartment. I’d much rather send a text message instead of speak on the phone, even though they are the same price here. Yeah, I may not be completely Irish, but I’m not absolutely American either.