August 19, 2008

More Things I Have Forgotten

Or perhaps discovered about living in the US...
  1. Americans are obsessed with beverages. Jump on a subway and everyone will have commuter coffees. Driving to work in the car, bound to be a beverage in there. Walking with a drink of some variety has become as American as apple pie. We drink more than anyone I know without actually getting drunk. I hadn't really noticed it until I started watching Weeds. Main character Nancy has something to drink in nearly every scene, be it a can of diet coke she's fished out of the nearest fridge or an iced beverage she's sucking thru a straw. The girl is never without a drink of some sort. 
  2. Now that I've lived there, I can say this: New York is a great city but the people are some of the most selfish on earth. I blame it on the sheer vastness of the city and the anonymity it offers. Knowing I would never see these people again, I was all the more apt to cut them off or take the last seat on the train. And the many varied ways of being selfish are astounding. One guy spoke at length on a crowded train about his firm belief that those engaging in sodomy should pay less taxes. After all, why should he pay for some breeder's kids to go to school? Did I mention he was loud and exceptionally foul about it? The more uncomfortable the car got, the worse he got. 
  3. My newest pet peeve is people who stop at the worst possible place on earth, such as at the top of the staircase, effectively making those behind wait until you've caught your breath. Or the one woman who stopped in the middle of the stairs to chat with her friend on the other side. How can you possibly think that's a good idea? If I did it to you, you'd complain, but if you do it to others, its absolutely fair game?  Sigh.... The worst behavior I found in New York was on the subway. It's very common for people to run to the train and stop the moment they cross the threshold, effectively blocking entry for anyone behind them. One morning, it was just too much and the next thing I knew, my hand was in the middle of his back, shoving him into the car.  He glared at me for a few stops but that let 4 more of us on the train. I'll never have to see him again.
  4. Baseball is a breathtakingly boring game to watch, even at the stadium.
  5. TV commercials for prescription drugs are definitely an American thing. It's quite the cottage industry that I somehow suspect is subsidized by the American Medical Association. Show an idyllic but quintessentially American scene, then launch into how this particular affliction has kept you from your inalienable right to the previous scene, throw in some uplifting music to mask the long list of horrific side effects due to taking the drug, finish with more idyllic scenes of how much better life will be on the drugs, and quietly exhort the viewer to discuss with a physician if the drug is right for the viewer. Life is better on the good drugs, you'll see.
  6. Mosquitoes. I'd forgotten about them entirely and now I'm full of scratchy itchy bites in all sorts of awkward places. Hate the mosquito intensely.
  7. Volleyball is much better than I remembered. I'm playing on my brother-in-laws team and although we have 6 players instead of my preferred 4, it's really good to be back out in the sand. Quite evident that I haven't played in 4 years; my serves barely reach the net, I can't jump, and my arms are on fire. God I've missed it!
  8. Americans often take casual dressing too far. It's almost as if it's the newest amendment: You have the right to dress as you wish at all times, regardless of occasion, fit, or perception of cleanliness. Comfort is key, expressing personality is the goal. The fact that you look like you rolled out of a trash heap to go on a date is just me being snobbish. If I see one more hat sitting backwards on unwashed hair, I'm gonna let New York Beth loose.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Watch out NYC! Don't want to see in the headlines, "Woman gets arrested for envoking citizen's arrest by fashion police"